Tag: Intimate Diary

Entry 8, Kit & Kitty’s Intimate Life (PG-13): Motorcycle Kid

20130721A Motorcycle Kit

Title: The Motorcycle Kid
Free online series:  Kit and Kitty’s Intimate Life

Life and high speed thrill seeking come together on the way back to Santa Monica

Kitty does the trip back and forth to her Dad and Mom’s place way too much. It’s far and, by now, way too predictably tedious. Usually, it would have been just her, her bike, I-10, the traffic, and lots of hot dry air. This time though, it was a little different. She was full of a lot of lovely feelings, the cozy ones, like those that come when everything is the way it’s supposed to be. All the regrets were gone.

Someplace before Blythe, she lost her mind in a high of well being and engine noise. She revved up her little bike, like so many times before, while passing a truck over a low pass. The way was clear well ahead of the truck, and she suddenly felt it was adrenaline time again. She opened up the throttle for a fix. A few thousand turns of the gears later, the pavement and scenery turned into that magic flowing plastic. It was another moment of just her, like one with the bike. It was exciting, as always, and then three little words floated to the surface of her thrill, “I love you.” Not just any guy’s empty words this time, but Kit’s real, “I love you,” with those big soulful, wide open eyes of his looking back at her through her memories.

She looked down at the instruments and saw the speedometer reading 152 mph. Then, she remembered Kit, on the porch, putting his hand on her cheek and telling her to be careful. He wanting, “gorgeous her,” all in one piece. She felt how much he still loved her, despite everything! She had been thrashing around trying to find love ever since running away from him, running away because she was trying to find something, “better” – whatever that was. Then she thought, “I still have his heart, he gave it to me long ago, it will always be mine, and I need to take care of it.” The pang of affection, of having him back and loving her from his core, just like he always did, cooled her speed lust. She couldn’t be just about herself anymore – and that is what she wanted now. She pulled the pressure off the throttle, and let the bike coast back down below the speed limit. Life meant something more.

“A sculptor, he molds stuff, with his hands, for a living now,” that was a thought for her saddle sore bottom! “If only he would have said yes to the ride to LA! The day would have been so much more fun with Kit.” It was hard, but she knew she would only have to wait a little bit longer. He did finally promise, a whole week, just him and her, on her motorcycle, all the way back to Oregon, the same beach they went to as pups!

Boyfriend-girlfriend for now. She was still chuckling to herself about what her sappy, sentimental, and old-fashioned guy asked for. She thought, “Let’s see just how long he can hold out! I’m ready, ten years way too ready for this! It’s going to be too much fun, playing the temptress, with my best friend of all time, on a one week motorcycle ride for two up the big coast – it’s going to be just too romantic.”

Other than her dreams, the rest of the ride back to Santa Monica would have been a bore, all except the stop she made for fuel somewhere around Palm Springs. After filling up, she stopped under some palm trees to stretch and eat the sandwich her mother packed for her. As she stretched out, a pickup truck pulled up next to her and her bike. An overweight fox and his son stepped out. The pup’s eyes were instantly glued to her bike, as his dad went to hauling a cooler out from the back of the truck. Before long, the little fellow was asking his dad every silly question he could about her bike, never taking a single bite of his cold burger nor a sip of soda.

Kitty finally stopped thinking about Kit and said “Hi, do you like motorcycles?”

The pup beamed with enthusiasm, and asked, “How fast do you go?”

“Oh, the speed limit and just a little more,” she answered in a meek tone, trying to avoid the truth of her adrenaline habit.

He looked disappointed at her answer, so she couldn’t help herself but brag a little by adding, “When it’s flat and safe, I’ve gotten it above 200 mph a couple of times.”

The Dad looked stunned and a little worried by the second answer. “Don’t encourage the little daredevil now! He’s been trying for the land speed record on a bicycle for the last year, and he just got all healed up from his last experience of becoming one with the road.”

The little fox started to pretend he was on a motorbike and began making vroom-vroom noises, while holding his uneaten sandwich in one hand and a soda can in the other.

What could she say, he looked like a bundle of hyperactive fun! “Has he ever ridden on a motorcycle before?” she enquired.

“No, my wife made me give that up as a trade off for getting married. ”

“Oh, that’s no fun,” Kitty replied with an empathetic tone.

“Nah,” he laughed,” I’ve got a whole lot of fun out of the deal!” He lifted up his hand and proudly ran his fingers through his son’s crop of unruly hair. “He’s got three sisters as cute as he is back at home. This is our guy’s day out.”

“You like that?” she giggled, feeling safe. Talking to him was like, well, talking to Daddy.

“Oh yeah! It all goes so fast,” he answered.

“Like motorcycles?” she asked.

“Not the same,” he chuckled, “motorcycles and speed rushes, you know, here today and gone tomorrow. Life gets too good for that kind of stuff.”

He asked her how long she had been riding (ever since she was old enough) and they talked about his old bikes. She told him of her harrowing experiences and he told her of a couple of his smash ups, how the last one brought him too close to the end, just as he met up with all the real love he didn’t even know he was seeking. He sold his last bike right after the honeymoon.

He was so comfortable in himself, so whole in his being. Would Kit ever be him? Kitty wished for a moment, and then knew the answer, that was all up to her – not Kit!

“Daddy can I go, can I go?” his son asked brashly.

“Hey, nobody invited you!” he said back to the pup.

“Oh it’s O.K., I’d love to give him a ride, if you don’t mind,” she smiled.

The pup squealed with glee.

“How can I say no, all right, but you finish your burger and soda first,” he said to his son.

The little guy quickly gobbled down his meal. Kitty also finished off hers, and then from her backpack, fished out the spare passenger helmet she had taken along for Kit.

She motioned the pup to come over to her bike and lifted him on the saddle in front of her, as he grabbed at the handle bars. After a few minutes of letting him mess with the throttle and shifter, she fitted the oversize helmet and goggles over his head. He became mesmerized by the anticipation induced by the unfamiliar headgear, as Kitty tightened the straps.

“O.K., I need to use those handlebars, you need to hold on tight behind me,” she said. She helped him climb onto the bike behind her and he wrapped his arms about her waist. Then she said to him, “Now when I turn, lean with me, can you do that?”

The pup nodded and immediately understood. He grappled his legs about the saddle in anticipation of her starting the bike. A little twang hit her heart, as he waited for the roar of the engine – a thought about having a little pup of her own, just like him. Her thoughts went straight back to Kit and she had to pause a moment. It was all she wanted now, this little fellow could have been theirs already if she hadn’t…she sniffed and felt a tear well up. It sucks not be able to fight back tears. She quickly downed her goggles to cover up the moisture that welled up in her eyes.

In frustration with herself, she started the engine with a kick, it purred to life with a sure comforting roar, as it always did. The little pup squeezed her even tighter with glee. Her little engine was always there for her, but now she needed something more, a real heart, a living breathing being just and always there for her. Sniffing up her tears with the matter at hand, she yelled over the engine noise to his dad, “I’ll take him to the next interchange then come back, are you OK with that?”

“How can I not trust a girl!” he responded with a smile and a nod.

She waved, lifted the kickstand, and engaged the clutch. Kitty pulled up to the intersection before the on ramp, and felt the little guy altering his grasp about her waist as he looked out ahead. Clearing the traffic, she shot down the on ramp for the westbound lane, the little fellow leaning into the curve just as asked, holding on even tighter as they accelerated.

The freeway was near empty, and they merged easily, going right up to the speed limit. After a few quarter miles, she felt the little fox squeeze her middle several times, and she got the message to go faster. It was only five miles to the next interchange, and she pulled off there to do the turn around. The dear little demon laughed, and she could now hear him yelling, “Faster, Faster!” She just knew he was going to get himself hurt on his bicycle. He was full of life, and she only remembered Kit, just as they were when they first met back in grade school. Around her waist was wrapped something of what was supposed to be her and Kit by now, it just wasn’t right.

She turned back to the onramp for the opposite direction and took a quick look at the empty eastbound lanes. The coast was, by a stroke of luck, clear as far as the eye could see. Kitty thought for just an instinctive instant and immediately knew what she was going to do – she felt it was for a good cause. She would be careful with the little fellow, as though he were her’s. She thought “Just once more,” and then she promised, to her absent Kit, “never again.” She yelled back to her overly eager passenger, “If you hold on as tight as you can, I’ll go as fast as we can!” The little guy did, and she twisted the throttle as far as it would turn. The engine didn’t miss a beat.

She kicked the bike up through all four gears in half a breath. They were doing at least 125 as she merged onto the freeway and poured it on. She didn’t want any chance of a reprimand at the end, so knew she had to top out long before the off ramp five miles on. A few g-force filled fractions of a mile later, she looked down to read 180 mph at 5500rpm, not bad for two riders on 1000cc’s! She couldn’t breath, with two vice like small arms pressed about her waist. She knew she had gotten his attention, and let the bike coast back down below 70mph.

A few seconds later, she eased up the off ramp and stopped just ahead of the traffic light. The little guy didn’t say much when she turned to look at him, as he looked out ahead with wide open eyes. Kitty yelled, “When your daddy asks, we never went more than the speed limit right?” He shook his head sideways, seeming a little speechless.

“No more than 70!” he said finally, with a note of respect.

When they got back to his daddy’s pickup truck, the little guy was still rather quiet as she took off his helmet and goggles. He ran over to his dad and gave him a big loving hug.

“Was that fun?” his dad asked, “How fast did you go?”

The pup nodded, paused a second to look back at her and said, “70!” He then quickly went to the truck and climbed up onto the front seat, seemingly ready to go home.

His dad turned to Kitty and said “Thanks, maybe see you around, that’s one hot bike,” he winked at her, “I think I may owe you one someday,”

You’re welcome,” Kitty smiled, “live long and prosper.”

“I think so,” his dad chuckled.

It was a long slow ride back into LA from there.

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Read other entries in the free online series:  Kit and Kitty’s Intimate Life

Entry 7, Kit’s Intimate Diary (R): Leaving on a Jet Plane

Accompanies the original book “Kit & Kitty in Love” – contains some mature sexual content. Content may not be suitable for children.

Entry 7, Kit’s Intimate Diary (R): July 6th. Leaving on a Jet Plane

Free online series:  Kit and Kitty’s Intimate Life
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The whole world looks different when looking through the eyes of love.

CC20130615A Leaving on a jet Plane

I’m in love, I have a love, and I’m loved. I know I always loved Kitty, from the day we met as little kids. I always knew she liked me, but never was I sure about the love part, until now. Today, I know that she always did too, but was just too scared of everything that meant. Now she wants all that too.

Everything is different this morning. The world has a cosy glow to it. It’s like there’s nothing that doesn’t make me feel good about anything, about her, about even what has been miserable me for the last decade. When I landed in Tucson two days ago, I doubted everything about me, I hated myself, and was cynical about all. Now I feel like all the universe was made just for me, just for us. It’s so selfish, I guess, but today I love everything and everyone.

A little hungry buzz fills my senses ever since she hugged me two days ago. Twitterpation, I don’t know if it’s a real word, but I sure know it’s exactly what I’m feeling. Every moment I feel this sense of tingly anticipation that makes everything look more than well. I pay the overpriced check for breakfast, I feel good. The elevator skips my floor, I feel good. The auto check-in stand goes out of order, I feel good. Standing in line after line, I feel good. I look at all the others in line and wonder who else has felt the same way too.

In the waiting area, I saw a cute little vixen holding onto her mother’s skirt with one hand and coddling a stuffed bear in the other. If I would have seen her two days ago, I would have thought about missing Kitty and felt a little tinge of jealousy for who was lucky enough to be her father. Today, I felt something entirely different, all warm and cuddly. I said “Hi” to her and she smiled back at me, her mom giving me a grin and prompting her with a, “What do you say?” Her daughter smiled and said, “Hi,” back to me, as she pressed herself even closer against her mom. Then, quite spontaneously, as children are prone to be, she ran over to me to show me her toy bear. I leaned down and put my hands on my knees. “My, what is his name?” I asked.

“Danny,” she replied.

“Does he like to fly?”

She looked confused, I guess, not really sure about what I asked. She started to dance with the bear. Her mom looked at me approvingly. A surge of emotion welled up in me and I wanted to be with Kitty right then, inside Kitty right then. I wanted to be the daddy, and today it all seemed possible, like everything else. As the airplane was pushed back from the gate, I regretted not making love to Kitty yesterday. She wanted to, and I held onto a chivalrous ideal I think ten years already made us grow past.

Any idle moment today, and my mind goes to thinking of Kitty, I want to think about and feel of only her. That smile, that shrug, her laugh, her teasing, her taunting, her frowns, her ups, her downs, but mostly her, “I love you too.” I stare out the window at the clouds, and I can only think of sharing them with Kitty. The guy next to me, why couldn’t he be Kitty? Why couldn’t we be sharing the lunch pack, I’m not even hungry, I just want to share it with Kitty. I have a tummy full of twittering butterflies and want to only snack on dreams of Kitty.

As a guy, I can honestly say that girls are the source of all our happiness. They really are in charge. When she’s happy, I’m happy, when she’s not happy, well that’s the part that drives me to keep her happy. I’m so ready for this, I guess I was ten years ago, when it was way too early. I wanted to struggle from nothing with her then, and that’s part of what scared her away. Please, I’ll order a big slice of life with all the trimmings, as long as it’s with Kitty.

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Entry 5, Intimate Life (PG-13): Order Something Exotic

Entry 5: Order Something Exotic  (PG-13)
Free online series:  Kit and Kitty’s Intimate Life
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Ordering something a little exotic and getting a trifle more, quite the surprises just a little daring can bring.

Kit and Kitty order something exotic
Kit and Kitty order something exotic

It was a long drive across town and it took a few passes at a confusing new interchange before we finally came on the old country club restaurant by the golf course.

Pulling up to park, we saw the old signboard was still there, announcing the Bramble’s Thorn at the 19th Hole, but it was accompanied by a smaller sign proclaiming, “Under New Management.” The parking lot was near empty, only three other cars, and it was tough to tell if they belonged to the guests or staff. Read more

Entry 4, Intimate Life (R): Dressing Up

Accompanies the original book “Kit & Kitty in Love” – contains some mature sexual content. Content may not be suitable for children.

Entry 4: Dressing Up (R)
Free online series:  Kit and Kitty’s Intimate Life
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Wrapping your favorite being, the prettiest thing in all the whole wide world in every available color of the rainbow!

Dressing Room

Stores were starting to close across town, but we lucked out with a formal wear shop at an outlet mall. The clerks looked a little exasperated at the last minute customers, but we were serious about buying something, and they couldn’t turn away what was to be a sure sale – even as the clock slid past five.  Read more

Entry 2, Intimate Life (PG-13): Kitty’s Back

 

Entry 2: Kitty’s back! (PG-13)
Free Online Series:  Kit and Kitty’s Intimate Life
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Kit and Kitty on Fourth of July

I got in to the reunion purposely late and did my best to avoid everyone, slowly working my way through the snack line as my eyes darted about the space under the outdoor pavilion, going from one transformed figure to the other. That disconcerting feeling sank in at every turn, observing the cumulative decade of metamorphosis from kids to adults among former classmates. I then picked out one of the far corners of the the garden space, where I just waited and watched. My spirit sank when the first to pick me out was Bud, immediately asking if I had seen Kitty yet. It was awkward, and I only said, “No,” with a hard jealous lump forming up in my throat.  Read more

Entry 1, Kit and Kitty’s Intimate Diary (PG-13): Who loves you now?

Entry 1: Kit’s Diary: Kitty, who loves you now?  (PG-13)
Free online series:  Kit and Kitty’s Intimate Life
Warning: Two distant hearts on collision course – utter happiness to ensue.

Slider-Intimate-Life-Date

A last hug for good luck ten long years ago and that was it of being kids – the missed ride on the ferris wheel, Bud, Tony, Mike, the college acceptance letters, graduation, the last hug and that was it. Ten years of that hug, I’ve relived and regretted that goodbye almost every conscious second since. Will she come to the reunion?

Worse yet, who will she come with? There just has to be someone else she’s with; her boyfriend, her fiance, her husband – their kids. Oh please! Not the kids, but I know there has to be some kids by now. I don’t want to go because of that. If only there is a chance not; there still has to be a little chance. When I meet him, I’ll shake his hand, close my eyes, and hug the kids – hug the baby, the twins, the triplets, whatever. The girls will look just like her, I know it – just like her when we first met. I’ll say congratulations, best of luck, and all the happiness in the world, then I’ll go. I’ll just go! I’ll finally know and I’ll just go – leave right then. That will be the end of it at last. It was never to be, just me pining up everything out of nothing. We’re all grown up now and our lives are set apart forever. Childhood was just that and nothing more, but what if there is just a teeny little chance?

If only there is a last chance, it’s impossible sure, she’s way too perfect, will she even entertain the thought? Will she just turn away and wish me gone? It’s been ten years and she never tried once to call, email, text, search, or anything. She doesn’t keep anything but a work presence on the web, an analyst at an investment firm – that’s it, like she’s hiding now. I just can’t send her a note, no, this is too big for that, it has to be face to face or nothing. What if she isn’t with anyone? What if she remembers me and doesn’t just look away? What do I do to not be an idiot all over again, to not be scared stupid boring, skinny, and bungling me? What do I say, “My God I can’t live without you?” Yeah, that will go over as well as when I tried to say “I love you” the last time.

What if it works, what if she wants me too? If she wants me too? Oh God! what if she’s lonely too? Just to hear her again, to see her shrug again, to smirk at me again, to tie me up in one nonsense conversation all over again! Do I hug her, do I don’t hug her? Kitty, tease me, toy with me, challenge me to something stupid again! Jump off that cliff, climb the waterfall, ride all the rides at the carnival, ride your motorcycle, I’ll do it! I swear I’ll do anything – anything for a chance to be with you again! Any old quick end is better than the last ten years.

I don’t want to see anyone else there. Will anyone even recognize me or even care? I don’t want any questions. I don’t want to see anyone else, I couldn’t think of anything else to say, especially if she doesn’t want me. I just want to go, one last miserable night, a last miserable memory, then just go on. Just deal with it, I can just go on and deal with it. That is it, the end. Fini, fait accompli, all just like it is.

I sent in the RSVP for the class reunion today, what to do between now and the 4th? Probably just be miserable, like the last ten years, or maybe – maybe if there is a chance. Kitty, I love you so damn much still! Please forgive me, I so want you, can you ever give me my heart back?

Kitty’s Diary: Kit, who loves you now?

Will he come? Will he be able to or does he just want the past to die? Just to be with my skinny, awkward, boring Kit again. The old friend who was always around. I never knew what I would miss until losing it. Who am I fooling, casting it away! Ten years of foxes and none of them ever being Kit. Every one of them I met, I measured against Kit. They tried for me, they toyed with me, they went all out to suit me, but they were never Kit. They were exciting, they were flashy, they were smart, they were rich, or they were handsome, or all that at once – but not a one of them loved me from the heart like Kit. A vixen knows, he could never say it despite trying, but that was so plain and so scary. I just had to get away, it was all too much back then, funny how now its all I’ve come to want.

Ten years and it’s like yesterday. Ditching him after the fair, that last hug I gave him goodbye at graduation, then ten years of being the sorority girl, the hot number, a decoration, a contact, or a trophy. Acting was no fun without Kit. Mom and Dad were relieved when I took up stats, it seemed a simple way to forget, but everyone in financial engineering was more about insuring their share and flaunting it. A prison of matrices surrounded by guys more in love with themselves than they would ever be with me. Ten years of the excitement of the challenge, ten years of never knowing exactly when the new one was going after his next target on the way to the top. Ten years of searching for what I threw away in fear, ending up forever running away, trying to find him in someone else over and over again.

I arrived, I’m climbing the ladder, but what next? Another board meeting, another regression run, another bonus, another day at my cubicle, another overvalued bore breathing hard at me over my computer terminal? Just to have dreamy Kit again, the fox who could never earn a dollar but could get me to see the joy in every flower and who could capture the whole universe, just for me, in a splash of speckled paint on a candlelit wall. Let me play every silly part with him all over again, sing every sappy old song once more.

After all the games, all the compromises, all the manipulation, and all the lies, all I want now is my simple, dull, awkward Kit. Please God! Please, just this one cruel wish on my best friend come true, let him still be himself, let him still be awkward, let him still be quirky, sentimental, and unwanted – the only guy who ever really loved me. So help me, I don’t care if he’s alone or if he’s attached, know that no matter what, I have a claim to him and nothing is going to stand in the way of that. Let it be one for the record forever more, I love Kit and I will only ever love Kit. I know that so sure now and need to touch him once more and say it direct to his face. I’m all too ready. I’ve made up my mind, if he doesn’t show up at this reunion, I’m going to New York to find him.

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